What the Dickens?

I kissed Nico.
I'm never going to let it go.
I kissed him, and I made a royal ass out of myself.
I'd been telling myself for a good hour that I like girls. That's because I do. There isn't a homosexual bone in my body. I'd been thinking about Zenna and all the things I could do to her (which is another subject for another time), but I did it anyway.
Dear God, I kissed Nico. I didn't mean to do it, but I can't call it an accident. I blame hormones and the fact that Nico's a whore-- a nice whore, though. He's still my best friend. 
Thankfully, he took it like he told me he did. I don't want our friendship to change because I'm a dumbass who can't keep his stupid lips to himself. I certainly don't want his relationship with Sinclair to change. Nico loves him, I know he does, and I don't want to be the one to mess it up.

About a week ago, I said that Virginia Tech had accepted me, and now this happens.
I was never going to go, but I can't help but thinking about it. (Apparently my mom can't either, because she called as soon as it came on the news.)
It's horrible, but it almost feels like the news is making too big of a deal out of it. It's tragic. I understand. They're glorifying things, I suppose. If some new information comes out, give it. We don't need twenty-four hour news coverage, do we? I think not. That's my opinion, anyway. This man doesn't deserve such coverage; to me, it almost makes it seem like they're trying to tell the story of a "hero".

But on to better and brighter news.

Not really. Soccer's pretty amazing this year; I'm moderately suprised it's still around. Dean Bitch is doing everything but locking us in the dorms constantly. God. Go jump off a bridge, Alfric.

Virginia Tech accepted me.
George Mason accepted me. They have a nice social work program that I could get into.
Brahman also accepted me.

I have a dilemma: George Mason or Brahman?

George Mason is close to my "home" in Virginia.
But I've got so many friends up here!

Help me.

(And sorry for not being around all that much— ya'll know me during soccer season.)

I know it's true, but I can't believe it.
Nico is fucking dead.
Zenna apparently found him. I don't want to know the details.
God, Nico. Why?
How could you do this to us? Sinclair? What about him? I'm not blaming you, Nico, for all of the hell that we're all going to go through, but I wish I knew why.
I won't be able to go to the funeral. I can't. I'd rather never see him again than see him one last time.
Zenna, I'd like to talk to you. Not about Nico. I can't do that. But just talk.
I'm going to cry tonight. I'm sure everyone will. Even you, Hemingway. Everyone will shed some tears.
This is emo!Charlie. I don't know how long it's going to last, but it's here. 
Fuck.

ETA: Y'know what? I've been thinking. I've seen deaths before. Death is never normal anymore in Icharia, especially when it involves the students of Eupheme. Is it bad for me to be morbidly optimistic that he'll be back? With all of the strange shit that happens up here, it doesn't seem impossible. Not even improbable. I don't want to be too optimistic, though. Dead people are supposed to stay dead. Who knows what the hell is going on. I just wish we all had some goddamn answers.

I miss soccer. It's too cold outside to play, although I do run sometimes. I'm waiting for Nico to get his ass back home so he can run too, because I know he's not doing anything over in Italy. Yeah, Nico, I know your secret. And I just told the world. How evil of me.

I'm really getting the hang of this LJ business. Not updating it regularly, mind you, but getting the hang of it. I can keep up with everyone's lives who I don't see very often. It's interesting.

Victor? Happy eighteenth.

Someone? Let's go out for coffee. All the cool kids are doing it.

Well lookie here: ol' Boz has gotten himself a LiveJournal! I blame peer pressure. I do admit, though, that I've been saving up money for almost two years (ever since right before I came up here to Icaria) to buy myself a computer to call my very own. I wanted to buy one for the local homeless shelter too, but these laptop things are expensive as hell. The homeless will have to wait, no matter how much I hate saying it.

I am quite fond of this little Mac that I bought. I had to drive all of the way to Boston to buy it, but it was worth the trip. Now I don’t have to bum computer-time off of everyone else. I’m sure my friends will appreciate that. I can actually type homework more frequently now. And stories! I can type my stories. Thank God. I have to have Carpal Tunnel, what with the novel-writing and the correspondence with Ma and the sibs.

(Sort of) speaking of homework, I need to do some English stuff. If I don’t do it now, who knows when it’ll get done. Anyone sixth block English who wants to come over and work on it with me, feel free. Ya’ll know where I’m at.